The Sound Of Music
you took one too many Ativan and raced out into the street
danced in line with the EMTs who stared at your bare feet
I'll never recover from the shape of your little fist
swinging at the coat check singing, I Have Confidence in the rain
I was on your last paragraph when they asked, “guess who's been killed?”
then I heard those European police sirens from all those action films
I'll never recover from doing what was right
you said, “If you die in your sleep
you're all alone in the middle of the night”
so long, farewell, Julie Andrews
we lose quarters in candy machines
when they pulled you out of the harbour you were holding onto a book
then you shoved your screenplay into my chest and said, “won’t you at least take a look?”
I'll never recover
from the colour of your tears
when you came home from spring break after thirteen years
so long, farewell, Tony Walton
we lose fingers in pairing machines
ah so long, farewell Julie Andrews
we lose lines in deleted scenes
! ! !
The Extra Sees The Film
there's a soft opening, she'll be there if you wanna stop by
flirting with the human scorpion jacket from Drive
he's a haircut aiming a jar of gin
and he talks about Los Angeles, that's a cue for you to jump in
“excuse me I couldn't help overhear you mention LA
see I was there for Kobe Bryant's last NBA game
it was five or six years ago back when there were no guarantees
and it was on the tv at a bar somewhere in I think Los Feliz
making friends
making plans to pull someone out of a crowd
out of a crowd
yeah out of the crowd
and into his spotlight
the extra sees the film and totally collapses
the extra sees the film with Bette Davis Eyes
as if I had a way to move us all forward
if I had a way to put us all back on pace
we could make out headlights in the ditch off the road
crying blue light and buried under falling snow
we were on our way from Fredericton to Charlottetown for the show
now we're stomping and kicking in three or four feet of snow
dancing to discover a body in our boots
Stetson hats and rhinestone Nudie suits
ya we might have to cut a few half finished new songs
there's only twenty five more minutes until we go on
it’s probably fine
they’re probably fine they were picked up and taken back home
taken home
calling friends,
“hey I'm gonna on TV”
the extra sees the film and covers up his name badge
the extra sees the film and has to call his mom
as if I had a way to move us all forward
if I had a way to put everything back on pace
Unspeakable Things
unspeakable things
written longhand in your diary
unspeakable things
in bags piled into a phone booth
pressed against glass
shouted aloud alone in gear at a red light
unspeakable things
stored at a high rate of interest
everything
that you've done
laid out here
one by one
caught on tape
and compiled
no one could ever ever try and forgive
unspeakable things
gathered and sold at auction
unspeakable things
go on overlooked in the kitchen
out the back window, through to the laneway
drawn in chalk then washed away
remember that day turns to night
and cries for blood at the Cinesphere
what you'd say
if we could see
every day
every key
if we got in
by brute force
you never ever could go home again
you're never going home again
“oh what a night,” sings the heir
“how’s your heart still beating?”
“oh what a night,” sings the heir
“how’s your heart still beating out time?”
Night Vision
I'm waiting on a Dodge Caravan
and I don't wanna take it too far
but it's outta my hands
then there’s light
bleeding in the ditch
your band hears a brand new Outkast song
for the very first time
making all the stops, hit the storage locker, there’s a dead deer
lit up in the sensor light behind the Petro-Can
but late to the party, that’s good for the party
I can do anything for you
but I'm gonna have to do it running
it might take another year
it might take a shotgunned beer
it might take a rifled deer
head shot, night vision, sex tape, head shot
turn it out
I don't wanna take it too far
losing it over you
it's overdue
and I don’t choose losing it over you
it might take another year
it might take a shotgunned beer
it might take a rifled deer
head shot, night vision, sex tape, head shot
turn it out
Tyler
there's a crowd gathering
outside our apartment
because they know my history
and they like our rent
so I have to prove it
to both you and the landlord
hell yeah, the new game is insane
and I'm stuck keeping the old score
carry me, Tyler, I'm caught in between
off-colour comics on a slow green
and I know I can make it on my own
but sometimes you don't have to leave it alone
I begged you not to leave too soon
you said, "call me Rabbit Fighter"
I was falling apart in the green room
while you drank half the headliner’s rider
now they've called the bikers off
there's no threat of violence soon
you work for Microsoft
I scrape the wallpaper off in the new guest bedroom
look it up, Tyler, it's not on the page
like famous actors from your parents’ age
and yeah I know I can make it on my own
sometimes you don't have to leave it alone
bury me, Tyler, but like it or not
they dug King Richard up in a parking lot
and I know I can make it on my own
but sometimes you don’t have to leave it alone
no, sometimes you don’t have to leave it alone
sometimes you can’t buy back what you sold
Undecided Voters
dead men from a desert grave cry out,
"him there, that's Sparticus!"
but you're going to art school now
so what do you care anyhow?
you take a photo of the CN Tower
you take another of the Honest Ed’s sign
while I take photos of your photos
and they really move people I know online
undecided voters
undercover
King Crab’s got 4 or 5 bank accounts
King Crab doesn't care about time zones
federally funded
to bed early on Sundays
Glasgow’s on fire for the second time
in five years, making headlines
like a bad dream
always on sight, never a part of the scene
undecided voters
undercover
when the results come out
the grind begins to shout about
machines printing their own sculptures
we're going all in on the new subculture... for life
undecided voters
live from Duane Reade!
Maid Marian’s Toast
ye own the beehive
thus ye own all the honey
burn the restaurant down
for the insurance money
celebrate how you can
you found something you've always wanted
all alone on the edge of 2017
Ghost World working the cash
at Kiwana's Canteen
handcuff keys are the same
you found something you've always wanted
bye-bye Marian, we know how you butter your bread
so long Marian, the boys need to get back to bed
Yes they do!
now you've got something we want
it's the Twenties and you've got something we want
so you’ve made the decision to make the decision
now spare us all from these half-assed revisions
you've got something we've always wanted
what’s another week day
with you in the map room?
I write the screenplay
and you hold the boom
now returning to the task at hand
I never planned to follow the plan
no I never felt right burning the past
because it isn’t past until it burns
Highlights of 100
highlights playing in my head
highlights of the living dead
highlights
there's been a specter haunting Texas
ever since they drank whiskey on the Moon
I heard some news that made me reel
made me really lose the room
highlights
spotlight on a 7 point spread
spotlight on a severed head
spotlight
I saw painted underneath the viaduct
“Long Live 2012”
bells ring out the pouring rain
and Amy Adams rides the train
spotlight
I knew you were trouble when you walked home
all the way from the Skydome
alright
you said you felt alright before the coffee break
then an extra ruined the take
there’s 18 holes on the moon
someone shouts, hey that’s too soon
and you better know better from best
you'd get kicked off set for less
hopping genres on the lot
the actors cannot find a stage
and by the aging horses trot
boy am I glad that you paged
I knew this kid who went nuclear
when he didn't get into film school
he broke his neck in an empty pool
hitting bottom after bottom
I got plans to build my house
a great big house out in the country
16 TB of land
with * and &
casting votes at the high school gym
spoil the ballot again and again
it's tradition
come on come on
horses pass by
turning cold eyes
watch em go-go-go!
Only Here for a Haircut
Tomb Raider, raid!
Boneshaker, shake!
newspaper headline
homemaker takes It too far
one night and they call me liar
but the past is weighing on her desires
who were they hoping would show King Tut?
I only came over here for a free haircut
from the QEH to the QEW
I'm gonna snap him down
if he looks at you
what can we do when the hometown crew
are obviously undercover cops?
I hold my breath until the elevator stops
I'm at your doorway and I've gotta choose
but I'm on E.I. with the work-week blues
always near to the heart
Cooler Returns
Superbowl Sunday
2020
I did not feel well
leaving the hotel
said a long goodbye
to a big dollar bill
see you again at
the reading of the will
the Sherwood Forest Ranger retires
with Falconer’s complex
and diners on fire
it's not fair to be
strung out on the back of your ATV
throwing dead birds into the air
singing "howdy neighbours,
how do you like my new ride?"
and now I can see that after spending some time apart
that's a cost of
doing business
that's the price for
healthy horses
big decisions
Cooler Returns shows
with new revisions
two minutes to post
I don't wanna task you out
but can you break this five for the jukebox, Jodi?
they’ve got big ideas
about Police and Thieves
and graduate degrees
while I’m just trying
to visualize some laundry on a line
It’s my funeral
from the angel’s eye view
I get carried away
In the wake of The Make It New
now I’m stuck NXNE learning
object permanence again
I am not American
but I feel the beat sometimes
when I run into the screen door
at the retreat trying to learn the new lines
backwards forwards backwards forwards
through the old Racquet Club archway
tennis anyone again?
I was never one for trying to win as a team
Guilty Party
the obvious answer is they just cant stand us
I can hardly stand to be stood up here at all
they used to always catch me crying on campus
now I only cry at the Dufferin Mall
who, me? I wish I could remember the name
who, me? I'm never gonna see them again
Kiwi on the getaway
from the world-famous vampire
telling me that I got
nothing to worry about
and even though he's right
how am I gonna trust him
when I can't see him in the rear-view mirror
giving me two thumbs way way up?
who, me? I wish I could remember the name
who, me? I'm never gonna see them again
I hope I won't be around
when the Shovel Committee
shows their court ordered warrant to break ground
because when they start digging
they don't stop digging, ya know?
until the dirt's piled so high
you can't see out your window
who, me? I wish I could remember the name
I don't remember no names no more
and you never show your face
Omaha
I was one of...
twenty thousand delegates
waiting for the old man
taking off the oven mitt
looking for the hot hand
tigers in the coliseum
lions at the Comfort Inn
rah rah Omaha
home of the husbands
don't blow your plain clothes cover
no trace evidence
you can dismiss the case
there's no proof that Woodstock ever
happened in the first place
don't blow your plain clothes cover
2021 tattooed on my ass
man, what are you asking for
and why do you have to ask?
if we can't even comfort our own
then why ever go back home?
if the cover up is worse than the crime
let em find out on their own
so if you've got the money
well then I've got the money too
and if you’re watching Last Call
I’ll be watching with you
“look at what you just saw
this is what you just saw”
don't blow your plain clothes cover
now if you've got some money
it means I've got some money too
and if you're in the treehouse
you know I'm up there with you
like the best gunslinger left in the west
ok second best
don't blow your plain clothes cover
Domino
who's waiting for me at the ATM?
rocks in their hands, hands in their pockets
who's in the basement of my neighbour's house?
looking outside everybody's bleeding
I don't need the domino
she waits and she’ll always wait for me
I live my life in a glass jar
turning to the window is an ashtray
I'm learning to accept the way things
I'm learning to accept things the hard way
I don't need the domino
she waits and she’ll always wait for me
Nashville Wedding
I’m tearing up this invitation
to join you at the shoreline
come and meet your new relations
take it easy, man
on the white wine
if you’re sewing wings to your dress
hey you'd better come clean princess
Old Tennessee jumping into the deep-end
it’s happening
I break into your house and tear all the sheet music over my head
I get so distracted half of the time
I’m the only one who feels it
retired to a dirty grey road in the East
enjoy the celebration
retire to a land line
avoid the train station
and get by on the old times
the whole damned jamboree
comes swinging after me
Old Tennessee jumping into the deep-end
it’s happening
I break into your shed and tear down the sheet metal over my head
I get so distracted half of the time
I’m the only one who feels it
retired to a dirty grey road on the Coast
conversations kill
hey this carpenter makes wine
I’ll do yours if you’ll do mine
I crawled out of the basement
you introduced me to Sebastian
and the smile on his face meant
I was frowning at the pastor
I wanna hold the minister’s hand
strangle the jangle pop band
Tennessee jumping into the deep-end
it’s happening
I tear through your tent and break all the tent poles over your head
I just get so distracted half of the time
I’m the only one who feels it
retired to a dirty grey road on the East Coast
conversations kill
hey this tennis pro likes wine
I’ll do yours if you’ll do mine
Dodger
the Brooklynn Dodger
sinks the foul shot
sees the changes
and unties the knot
says Jack the Ripper
killed like six people max
then plays Daytripper
on the bari sax
the luxury of living in the past
her name was Charlotte
she studied fashion in Montreal
The LA Dodger
turns the telescope
toward the forest trees
of the Pacific Slope
says, you know you can trace
the patterns in anything?
and you can bet that this summer
it's all happening
the luxury of living in the past
another answering machine that will listen to you
we’d like to leave the door unlocked for a while
one more weekend waiting at your baaaaackkkk stepssss
the luxury of living in the past
another answering machine of man who will listen to you there's always fear in letting go-o-o
one more weekend bus ride home from New England, hey!
Norma Jean’s Jacket
welcome the young detective in the rain
his jacket is crying suede it's so sentimental
it's been sobbing all night
he follows your dance, heavy metal
you're purring around, turning him down
like you're used to it
I can hardly stand it
why not just drag it onto the street
and shoot the damned video already?
all of your heartache and sorrow
is such a typical pill to swallow
who's peeking through your window with honeycomb eyes?
but you never stand as tall when your naked
wildly you explain
your ass to your forehead
yeah you’re so sorry
he takes off your 9-5 jacket
and packs it away for the spring
oh honey could you hold on
while I look up the name of the restaurant?
all of your heartache and sorrow
live tonight at the Apollo
but it's not 1934
you're not Ella Fitzgerald
yeah all of your heartache and sorrow
can be a tricky little act to follow
you go slouching towards East Hastings with Ableton Live and I’m left... breathless
so goodbye Norma Jean
on the bus into town
thinking about the farm
as it burns down to the ground
all of this heartache and sorrow
tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
will be waiting for you with a bad tattoo of the past
Waiting in Line
I stay home
you go to work
I'll sleep in your Jesus shirt
lose my I.D. to the bar
who's that kid getting on the streetcar?
waiting in line
queuing up for the very last time
waiting in in line for you
and if I wait
come and see me I'll be lying in state
waiting in line for you
you can fake it
and take the pill
I'll sleep on the windowsill
Sophie says she’s gonna pay you back
but how can you trust a hippie like tha-a-at?
waiting in line
queuing up for the very last time
waiting in in line for you
and if I wait
come and see me I'll be lying in state
I'll even use the same excuse that you did
she held you in the palm of her hand
under the fake palms on the wall
tattoos on the face of the man
in the fur coat in the hall
he doesn't blink or hold a drink
or work at the grocery store
you study the sink and you try not to think
what breed of beast protects the back door
I don't wanna know
waiting in line
queuing up for the very last time
waiting in in line for you
and if I wait
come up and see me, I’ll be lying in state
waiting in line
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna ever know
Murder in the Cathedral
When the S.S. crashed the party
my favourite band was setting up on stage
Now they’re wearing their hair like you and your sister stacking up records setting em straight how it used to be
You’ll get used to it and forget all the names
and the ways of the new police
Rescue she came from southern Manitoba
riding on the back of a jelly-roll
Sold her soul to Saxophone Joel
Jazz Comment cries, "he looks just like James Dean!"
That is James Dean!
You’ll get used to it
and forget all the names and the ways of the new high priest
Come down Daniel to the lion’s den
there are opportunities in foreign communities
Who wears a collar? Who wears a crown?
Where is the college in the campus town?
I used to know
You’ll get used to it
and forget all the names and the ways of the New Ho King
One million people’s faces is a hard act to follow
One million Wacky Races running through the halls
One million parking spaces filling up tomorrow
One million people’s faces is a hard act to follow
When I was eighteen someone got stabbed in a church
But I got used to it
and forgave all the ways and the names
that was so long ago anyways
Come down Daniel to the lion’s den
It’s a hard kind of lover who won’t even look in your eyes
It’s a hard kind of life when you can’t even open your eyes
One million people’s faces
Leslie
Who dropped out of college?
Took to the streets for knowledge?
Disappeared last New Year’s after pounding a few beers?
Leslie
Who was the man of the house?
I fell asleep on the couch
woke up bathed in sunlight
It snows and melts in the same night
Leslie
No one’s gonna bring her down
Now the gossip grows like a weed
They say she was there at midnight
Who the hell knows? I know what we need...
kick in Kiwi take the getaway!
Climbed over the garden gate with a snubnose .38
Woke up bathed in police lights
with Auld Lang Syne ringing in the new year
Are we still going out tonight? Are you still coming out tonight?
Everything comes in static, everything goes in colour
Salaryman
I look back on all the times when I was rude or unkind
to someone just trying to help me
So often there’s no time to think I know my body
I vomit into the sink and that’s ok
I am a salaryman, I want cigarettes from Japan
that taste like oranges
I miss our talks over coffee
nothing says home like a basket of folded white shirts
We can forgive but we will forget
even when everyone talks about it
The snake sleeps I can’t get home no TTC
I didn’t charge my cellphone last night
They say a man should go to work
and not come home just to feel like a jerk
Well that’s half true
I am a salaryman singing to a rock n’ roll band
happy happy joy joy
My failures are put out to pasture
I gaze out the window there is still poetry there
We can forgive but we can’t forget
no not when no one shuts up about it
Salarymen sleep on public benches next to the street
in their new shoes, shiny blue ties
polished black boots, scratchy red eyes
In the morning crawl into the office
You can hear them sing good morning to their bosses
Oh dead-eyed snake deep under the ground
dancing in the dark slithering around
I want to go home, let me go home
Nobody loves me like you do
Gimme More
Gimme more Brohan Moore gimme four on the floor
Gimme X-Ray vision in the infantry division
So the FLQ is smarter than you
but you know where the dead Pinks lie
I come together first thing in the morning just as we realize
We still want more
Another heartbreak, Somebody’s cheesecake
Stuck in a cul-de-sac, I want my money back
Canonize every old man that dies
Gimme more Star Wars gimme open bar chords
As your eyes materialize in the clock at the end of the hall
I make a note of your old trench-coat
propped up against the wall
You still want more
Another earthquake, Somebody’s Clean Slate
Stuck in a cul-de-sac, you still want Burt Bacharach
The last time that I was here I caught your eyes in the mirror
and I didn’t like what I saw so I hit the streets running
Gimme old labradors on the wiley windy moors
Gimme Luke I am your father in a fox fur collar
So the IRA is as drunk as you say
but you know where the dead kings lie
I come together first thing in the morning just as we realize
The last time that I was here I caught my eye in the mirror
that hangs in the dining hall and I didn’t like what I saw
The walls were painted red you turned to me and you said
I found a baby scorpion and released it back into the wild
Comeback Baby
Last night your dreams were broadcast
but no one you know has a television
Four crooked apes on horseback
you turn the key but the engine doesn’t start
We can take it off your hands return it to the wild
Your soul shoots to the moon it’s alright yesterday
Run to the surf, your arm raised
to keep your cast out of the water
It always smells like sunscreen
The constellation of freckles on your skin
We can take it off your hands return it to the sea
Your soul shoots to the moon, soaks you to the bone
Secondhand smoke behind the motorcade
The stakes are higher now you’re older now for what it’s worth
Comeback baby I’m on ice
Making the changes you said that I needed to make
Comeback baby I’m on ice
Making the changes not acting tough
The noise from outside crawls under your sheets
Lord make it easy, don’t make it difficult, Lord make it end well
Soft Water Apple
I will sing about my own hands
I will sing about my father’s hands
not to any old white-walled apartment
Candles unlit on a simple shelf
Ivy crawl across the window reaching for days at a time
Been trying to reach me for weeks
Football Money
In a city of handsome dads
one distant wife is making plans for the future
She rings like a bell, dinner is done by the spring
Digital lover come back to me
where once I was blind now I see all too clearly
Isn’t it always the case? The child is the son of the uncle
But they pay me to hit home runs they don’t pay me to stand in the sun
Chained in the basement job well done there’ll be no whips today
Football money
The high school bully is downed
when into town rides our hero on horseback
Oh tattooed featherweight give up your gloves
hang them on the offbeat
Nature will always see to it left alone things will move in circles
So sign the contract kid, sign the contract Kiwi
I wake up and go see Pa who tells me there’s no work to do
Milk in the icebox egg in the pan there’ll be no whips for you
The keeper finds his groove, the outstretched hands approve
Everything has been smoothed over
Dailys on repeat, he's solid on his feet
and everyone who speaks has spoken
Football money
Nothing Really Changes
This boy took me out one evening
wouldn’t take off his sunglasses
and when he kissed me in his car
he kept pushing them up with the tip of his finger
Nothing really changes around here
Everything is out of my price range
This boy knows I hate his band
Everybody looks like a lumberjack
Guitars! More guitars! I will not be honest with myself
Nothing really changes around here
Jesus saves his receipts
Take time make it automatic
You’ve got to reel in when you can
Talk about the passion with this one
Everyone roll your eyes in unison
Jealousy pools into the basement
with digital skeletons crawling out your Macbook
Take time make it automatic
You’ve got to reel in when you can
Beware of counting colours
You can just come home if you need
This girl shows to the convocation
turning all the heads in her little green dress
This is madness! In motion!
Nothing really changes around here
Swimming Pool
This is the city where I live
these are the friends that I have made
before I hang these aching heels behind
I’d love to make amends
And think of all the time we’ve spent
dying on this piano bench
I know when I come home again
you won’t be waiting in the wings
They used to keep a bucket on the side of the stage
Where is the bottle Linda left me?
Should I be here at my age in your swimming pool, Brian Jones?
All of these changes I’m feeling are tying ropes to the ceiling
Another dream another night
How can you sleep with all these girlfriends around here?
They’re not like yours at all they understand the sickness too
I’m in the scene I smell chlorine I’m clean for you
They used to keep a dolly at the side of the stage
Where are the pills that Linda left me?
Should I be here at my age in your swimming pool Brian Jones?
Wicked Witches
Had I been a bigger man I would’ve read the room
and swept these wicked witches right up off their brooms
Had I been a bigger man I would have stalled them
and sped off in a minivan mixing their cauldron
And we should have known better
fumbling for the switch
we lose the keys to the kingdom to a wicked witch
and we never see home again
But I am just a little boy in a colony of nudists
Kerri-Jeanne rolls her eyes like she already knew this
Yes I am just a little boy delivering your news
I don’t get a cent to comment on your blues
And we should have known better
than to swing at every pitch
the Cy Young award winner was a wicked witch
and I never played ball again
Somebody’s chewing holes in the console’s controls
but I don’t care if the spaceships are in the air
Somebody’s chewing holes in the console’s controls
but you don’t mind if the wheel’s not the one you’re behind
And we should have known better
than to deal in Mr. Fitch
he’s going all in blind with a gambling witch
and we never seem normal again
